I got me a lil' fibber

Dey is now 6 and has always been such an honest little guy. Even when he tried to lie, his half closed eyes and smirk always gave him away and we were all laughing at his attempt at real deception. Well he has gotten better and I'm kinda stumped. The conversation goes something like this. Keep in mind that as any good mommy lawyer does-I don't ask any question that I don't already know the answer to.
Me,"Dey, did you do your work in class today."
Dey, "Yes mommy."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, mommy."
"Really really sure."
Yes, I'm pretty sure. (he's starting to slip about here on my third interrogation)
So did you or didn't you?
"I thiiiink I remember doing it (really losing traction now) I go in for the kill-
"Dey, did you do your work in class or not?"
Dey-"Well maybe I didn't today but I did yesterday."
Seriously? Some days I go straight in -did you do your work in class-yes, did you -yes, did you- yes, For sure-well maybe not all of it..

Must I ask 5 times to evoke truthfulness in a first grader? What is he scared of exactly? We make it clear that lying is sooo much worse than not doing your work. I'm not totally freaking out about this as I'm sure it's a normal developmental phase that he will emerge from, like poopy diapers and spit up, but I saw this show on 2020 on integrity and it was truly shocking and sad. They set up a hidden camera at a local bar and had a guy, very obviously, slip some mysterious powder into his date's drink. Only about 2 people made a scene and confronted the guy. Most looked away. I was so ashamed of humans. Where was their bravery and integrity? When did looking the other way when someone is in danger become socially acceptable?
This is why, although I believe my boy will grow up to be someone who stands up for justice, it is my most important job to get him on the right track right now. Lying is a skill I don't want my kids to master because I personally think that it is a stepping stone to the worse crime of indifference and cowardice.

Dey and I are in a testing phase for now and I just hope that I'm getting my message across, even at his young age. Being honest with yourself is probably the hardest lesson to learn much less teach, but I think this is the right place to start. I welcome any thoughts or suggestions that any of you other parents may have for me.

Susan Older-Mondeel is the founder of SadieDey's Cafe . Sue wanted a community place where she could enjoy her children and enjoy herself, preferably with a strong coffee in hand. Where was this common ground for children and the weary adults who love them? Well it was in her head and in her heart and now at 4210 Telegraph Avenue, Oakland CA. Check it out at www.sadiedeyscafe.com or call 510-601-REST (7378) SadieDey's Cafe-You've gotta eat, Kids gotta play!